Science JAPs and the kit bag problem

Just as I am always interested in learning more about Israeli culture, my co-workers are very curious about American culture, specifically American Jewish culture. One day in lab, O. and R. asked “Alissa, can you tell us what it means if someone says a woman is a JAP?” So I did my best to explain.

The next day we got an order of some new stuff from Alex Red, a distributor of labware and science supplies in Israel. Included in our order, which was placed by S., were two mini-coolers that hold microcentrifuge tubes so we can keep our growth factors chilled in the tissue culture hood, those weight rings you can place around bottles so they don’t float away in the waterbath, and two new ice buckets specifically designated for our group’s room.

R. enters and says “What IS all this new stuff?” “Oh, S. ordered it,” I tell him. “S. really loves to spend money, look at all this stuff! She loves to buy. You know, Alissa, I think she’s a real science JAP.” I did not know that there could be science JAPs, but the sabras are teaching me new things every day.

Another resurfacing issue at work is what everyone refers to as my “kit bag problem.” There’s this story of a unit of soldiers. The officer announces that they are going on an extremely long and grueling hike. Then one of the soldiers speaks up and says “Officer, with our kit bags?” The officer then pauses and nods his head and says “Oh yeah, good idea, with your kit bags.”

I suffer from a severe case of the kit bag problem. This manifests itself in several ways. For instance, whenever I need something, I follow my very American instinct and ask for it, you know, before taking. Apparently this is very un-Israeli. Want a new chair? Another set of drawers? Need a USB stick? Another set of pipetman or a new aliquot of laminin? Want to leave work four hours early and lie on the beach in Tel Aviv? No problem, squander whatever resources exist all for yourself, be your own boss, but whatever you do, do NOT under any circumstances ASK PERMISSION.

See, my problem is that in my very American way, I only want to do things with the blessing and approval of everyone I know. In my new environment, I tend to do this with my co-workers pacing around in the background doing a nervous dance muttering “Kit bag problem, kit bag problem.”

So, apparently, I am still walking around with “olah hadasha” taped to my forehead. In the mean time, I am still trying to figure out how to model my every day work behavior after my relationship with my younger sister, which is probably the most Israeli relationship I will ever have. I’ll leave it up to your imagination what that might be like.